With Teeth?

The Detroit Lions have decided that the cure for what ails them (read: a 0-16 record) is a new, “fiercer,” logo.  With teeth. Literally.   They’ve increased their tough factor by at least 37% just by slapping some bitchin’ fangs on their mascot.  See?


By that same logic, you can pretty much make anything look tougher just by adding some pearly whites.  Take the Packers logo, for example.  A crisp, clean reminder of autumn Sunday afternoons spent snuggling an ice cold beer in front of the TV? Yes. But tough? Absolutely not!


Now let’s take that nice, friendly little logo and give it a set of choppers and….


GAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! Even the most intimidating team would most certainly have to think twice before stepping on the field with these guys.

But let’s not limit ourselves to professional sports teams’ logos.  Let’s see if we can apply this same theory to random household appliances.  For example, this happy little toaster.  A good, sturdy 2 slice number with multiple heat settings. You can almost smell the Pop Tarts.


But look out…you throw some teeth on there and….


HOLY CRAP! That’s one badass toaster.  Use at your own risk, dude.  Reaching for that Pop Tart may cost you a hand! Or worse!

Ok, ok.  Point taken. Teeth = Tough.  But here’s the real challenge.  Eggplant.  The most benign of all the fruits, or vegetables, or whatever the hell they’re supposed to be.  No one fears an eggplant.  You may think they taste like a shoe, but you can’t deny their generally pleasing outward appearance.  Purple-y, shiny, and round like a sweet little baby face.


Aaaaaand you know where this train is headed…



Damn!  You’d hate to get stranded in a dark produce aisle with those bad muthas…

 Well done, Detroit Lions.   Looking tough in ’09 guys!

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