Michelle’s Daily Doom 5.20.09

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 5.20 DOOM ALERT: SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTING LAPTOPS!  HP IS RECALLING OVER 70,000 HP AND COMPAQ LAPTOPS BECAUSE THE LITHIUM ION BATTERIES INSIDE ARE PRONE TO, WELL, BEING ON FIRE.

WHICH SUCKS ON A WHOLE BUNCH OF LEVELS.  IN ADDITION TO THE WHOLE “HEY, MY COMPUTER IS BURNING” THING, THERE’S THE WHOLE “HEY, MY COMPUTER JUST BURNED MY HOUSE DOWN” THING AND THE “HEY, MY COMPUTER JUST GAVE ME THIRD DEGREE BURNS ON ALL OF MY LIMBS” THING.   

 

THERE YOU ARE, SPYING ON YOUR EX ON FACEBOOK, VOWING TO STARE AT THEIR PROFILE PICTURE UNTIL YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT WENT WRONG…AND BLAM!!! YOUR COMPUTER GOES UP IN FLAMES.  JUUUST LIKE YOUR LOVE.   AND TO BOOT, YOUR EYEBROWS ARE BURNT OFF, SEVERELY HAMPERING YOUR ABILITY TO GO OUT AND FIND SOMEONE NEW.  

 

OR PERHAPS YOU’RE WORKING ON YOUR FINAL PAPER. THE ONE THAT JUSTIFIES THE YEARS OF WORK AND THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS YOU’VE SPENT ON YOUR EDUCATION. THE ONE THAT GETS YOU ONE OF THOSE FANCY DIPLOMA THINGS TO HANG ON YOUR WALL.  YOU’RE SO SLEEP DEPRIVED YOU DON’T EVEN REALIZE YOUR LAPTOP IS SMOKING UNTIL IT’S TOO LATE AND YOUR COMPUTER IS IN FLAMES.  JUUST LIKE YOUR FUTURE.  DIPLOMA-LESS, JOBLESS, YOU’RE FORCED TO LIVE ON YOUR FRIEND’S COUCH FOR ALL OF ETERNITY.  BECAUSE HE WAS SMART ENOUGH TO BUY A DESKTOP. 

 

Michelle brings the Doom every weeknight at 7:15

 

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